---
title: "Moving Away"
description: "This article is not about the movie Merantau). Rather, it's a long-pending thought buried deep in my heart. It started from seeing some tweets"
publishedAt: 2020-12-04
locale: en
urlSlug: merantau
isDraft: false
defaultLocale: en
---
[TOC]

This article is not about the movie [Merantau](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merantau_(film)). Rather, it's a long-pending thought buried deep in my heart. It started from seeing some tweets

![Running away from home](/static/kabur-dari-rumah.png)

and this again

![Moving back to boarding house](/static/balik-ngekos.png)

So I wanted to discuss again the reasons why I chose to leave my hometown and go to Jakarta. Before I continue, this is a flashback, something I didn't realize when I decided to move away almost 2 years ago.


## Mindset Change

Several times I often got stuck in situations and couldn't get out. Repeatedly experiencing the same things, I took the initiative to look for readings related to self-growth.

Some of the most impactful readings were the book _How living abroad helps you develop a clearer sense of self_ [^fn:1] from [HBR](https://hbr.org) and the book _Self Driving_ [^fn:2]


## Controlled by Environment

There's a study that examines how people who live abroad help them better recognize themselves. [^fn:1]

When someone lives in their hometown, they tend to continue their environment's habits without questioning whether it aligns with the values they hold.

Meanwhile, someone who moves away is exposed to many cultures, making the values they believe in either stronger or weaker.

From here there are similarities with what I experienced. When trapped in a situation, trying to get out, reading, and repeating this over and over. Little by little changing my mindset, and I reached a point where this environment was no longer suitable for the values I hold.


## Taking Control of My Own Life

Quoting from the book _Self Driving_, by the way, this is not a book about self-driving cars hehe.

This book uses an analogy when traveling by car. If you're a passenger, you just sit comfortably, can watch Netflix, chat, eat, or even sleep.

Different if you're the driver, you have to think about which alternative roads are best to take, if you encounter traffic jams, you must be careful, and every step taken must be thoughtful, because there are several lives depending on you.

From here I felt I had to take control, at least of my own life first.


## Conclusion

Looking back, I'm grateful for this decision. I learned a lot from the new environment, learned faster than when I was still at home.

Some problems that existed before are now gradually being solved, there are new problems and let's solve them again, and so on...but that's what makes me feel more alive, because I'm learning to determine my own life.


[^fn:1]: [How Living abroad helps you develop a clearer sense of self](https://hbr.org/2018/05/how-living-abroad-helps-you-develop-a-clearer-sense-of-self)
[^fn:2]: [Self Driving: Being Driver or Passenger?](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23311682-self-driving)